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Tentacle Specialist - View topic - Critique Thread
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Critique Thread 
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Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:11 pm
Posts: 177
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Post Critique Thread
Often times when I write something, and I'm positive this is true with other writers here, that I find myself wondering... "Did I make it too wordy?", "Was what I wrote boring or interesting?", "Do I need to change something or keep more attention on a particular thing?", and "Was it really any good?". Now obviously someone must think so or they would speak up... right? Or if they don't like how something was written in my stuff then I'd like to know how I could improve.

So here it is, a critique thread! Here you can leave critiques on stories and/or authors on the site. While yes you can leave a short comment in the story thread you want, I'm not sure if a full blown assesment should be left at the end or in the middle of every story. Rather this is more of a general critique of authors works. Here you can say all the things in all the stories you like or dislike.


tl;dr

We writers love to hear praises and appreciate constructive critisim about particular things in our works! And this is a whole thread dedicated to just that! :mrgreen:


Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:43 am
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To give an example of what is meant by critique, I don't mean nit-pick and I don't mean a simple 'good work, keep going' kinda thing (while it's nice to hear it doesn't tell us much... :? )

So I guess I'll crack off...

Tentacle Specialist: already I have said you have an amazing writing style; brief yet fluid movement of events described in enough detail as to get the idea across and leave room for the readers imagination. Your stories are well written and extremely fap-worthy in terms of material! It's always good to see schoolgirls geting teh raep from a big set of powerful tentacles, getting totally dominated by Cindy, or just being made the helpless, struggling victim either alone or with thier peers. If you could work on anything, all I could suggest is more resistance from the girls, while some definitly put up a fight, as soon as it's over it's like they're just beaten -once and for all. I realise that some of them are defined by how quickly they give in (Miya, Jess) while others are characterised for embracing it (like Cindy) and that's great but the ones that are the real resisters only seem to resist once or twice and then it's the last of it. Maybe it's because they just get completely overpowered but it still seems like some of them should at least remain continuously rebelious. I'm not saying have every single girl fight to bitter defeat with thier captor(s) as that too would get redundant but I would like to hear about even just one girl who never really stops fighting back until she's totally broken after a looong time and even then is still a sore loser. Maybe some snobby bitch from a rich lot who the monsters try to put in her place. Whatever, it's your story and you're the boss and other than that I have to say I'm looking forward in anticipation to any future installments of your work. Even non-TA stuff. You're a legend! You rock!

Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM): You're quest story is always fun to read and fap to. You also have a strong writing style that allows for a fluid movement of events and still keys-in on the details of every new thing that happens as we progress. I can't really come up with anything that you fall short on considering that your story is largely reader-driven, similar to TS's TA. Though I do have one thing that kinda bothers me with your style, but it's very, very little. When you refer to the main character you say 'we'. Now I realise that you do that because 'we' means 'you and the readers' and it does work in this case, really well too. I guess I'm just not used to seeing it. All in all, I like how you handle the slaves -they're our sluts to use as we like but we still allow them to function with reward for fufilling thier roles dutifully and every time you revisit that idea when you have them fuck (or get fucked) my eyes get magnetized to the damn page. I also like how you tie the setting into the story in an attractive way that allows for all kinds of possible expansion in future installments. Kudos, dude, great stuff!

TehFenris: I don't know if you still even visit the site anymore as I don't see you post anywhere but I still would like to complement your story. I remember the thread when it was on /d/ and I know how reader-driven it was. Another shining example of the choose-your-own-adventure story! There were many things you did exceptionally well. For one, you described the scene with lovely detail. I think I shivered when you described the mino going down on Sarah. You built up to it really well, first describing how muscular the mino's mouth and tongue were as you had her move downward along her captive's body until finally pushing into Sarah with her tongue. Best damn monster cunnilingus I've ever read, and probably will read for a long while! I don't know if you'll see this since I don't know if you still visit the site but: Fantastic work! Please write more!

mitsusteigy: ok, I know you've only posted one story, much like TehFenris, and I don't know if you still visit the site but I still want to complement your peice. It was, a little long... but after I got into it I found that it kept getting better and better. It's only long because you describe things in such fantastic detail! Every new thing that the monster did with Claire was just as good or better than the thing it had just done right before. You also describe her reactions to it's actions very throughly, there was a real feel for empathy for me -and thats always a good thing in fapping material. The downsides though is that while the details are wonderful, it means having to progress very slowly (something that I know my own writing suffers with -especially in Ischmail the Cruel) which makes it difficult to sit down and read it all in one go, I had to come (not sure if pun intended... :| ) back several times before I could finish reading all of it. Well written none the less, A+ !


Well that about does it for me right now, whew...
But there you have it. A quick critique of your writings, guys! :mrgreen:
I hope to hear from others (writers and readers alike) on what is thought of your stuff and especially my own. Until then, keep up the great writing, and for you would be story writers out there who would like to contribute some fap-worthy material here, I know it can be a little intimidating at first, but please, show us what you got!


Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:21 am
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Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:19 am
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Post Re: Critique Thread
This is a great idea. :D

Unfortunately, the common cold is smacking me upside the head, so I haven't had the energy to do ANYTHING on this forum...>_> So, my critiques will come a little later. ;)

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Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:10 am
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Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:43 am
Posts: 26
Post Re: Critique Thread
unknown, you dont ever write anything ever, stop that and start doing something dammit.

that is all.


Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:51 am
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Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:11 pm
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Post Re: Critique Thread
Shadowen: Ok, wow, just wow. I'm just going to go flat out and say it: it was looooong but it was goooood. I wasn't into every particular thing put in there but I still enjoyed most of it very much. You have a good writing style that addresses details but leaves room for the imagination. You had an excellent choice of words and a very creative piece of work. I had some minor problems with it though. Obviously this has been said almost to death but: it is a long story. Though once I started reading it and really getting into it I couldn't stop for the most part. If I could make a suggestion I'd say next time -even if you have everything pre-written, if it's really, REALLY long, try cutting it into installments that you dole out day by day rather than in one go. That's really the only thing I can think about. You did an excellent job in description of the characters and went into great, loving detail about what was happening action-wise. Very fap-worthy but it would help to target more specific fetishes/kinks rather that tie a ton of them into one story, it's AWESOME that you can do that -very nice job! but it does mean that by appealing to more and different people you appeal to them slightly less (though some people are plenty happy to read stories with as many different fetishes tied in as possible so maybe it's just me) So I guess maybe it goes hand-in-hand with the whole 'installment' thing.

tl;dr

*Put up stories -sure, go for it!
*Have them in nice instalments or all in one big thing -eh... I won't go one way or the other as long as you can avoid making it ridiculously long because though it was long, it was cram-packed FULL of stuff.
*Go all out and have as many fetishes as possible or have a more specific target audience -again maybe this is just me but I there are some things included in your work that don't appeal to me but plenty of other that do, I guess this is a more opinionated thing that varies from person to person.




Now with all that said I hope to see other people post critiques! :mrgreen:


Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:05 pm
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Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:05 pm
Posts: 28
Post Re: Critique Thread
Yeah, the style really isn't suited to message board posts--it's more arranged like a novel with chapters, or a series of short stories. That being said, the next chapter should be relatively easy to break apart.


Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:46 pm
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Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:25 pm
Posts: 10
Post Re: Critique Thread
Shadowen, if you still want to do it chapter by chapter, you could always post links to them on the site as txt or pdf files. It might be a bit easier to read them that way if you still go for the full chapters every time you post.


Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:23 am
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Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 1:19 am
Posts: 213
Post Re: Critique Thread
Can we really attach files on this forum?...I didn't even know that. But that's good if you guys want to use that feature. If it doesn't work, or if there's some other feature you guys would like, just let me know and I'll see what I can do. ;)

_________________
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Patience - To ascertain the results.
Insight - To discover what works.
You must read the Forum Rules!
COUNTDOWN: UNKNOWN


Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:00 pm
Profile YIM

Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:25 pm
Posts: 10
Post Re: Critique Thread


Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:06 pm
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Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 6:19 pm
Posts: 21
Post Re: Critique Thread
Could i suggest that we split this into different threads for each author? Especially when conversations start coming out of the critiques, this thread gets a bit chaotic to read and join in on.


Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:22 pm
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