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Fiona and Will (RE: theGoddamnBatman's request) 
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Post Fiona and Will (RE: theGoddamnBatman's request)
****
Quote:
Ack aww god, I meant to post it but never did. :oops: I just went through it one day and well... I didn't like it. I didn't get all the requested material in (not a great loss but ah well... you know... ) and I felt like I was getting too wordy again (too many words, my immortal enemy...) and I kinda shelf'd the piece. Well I guess I'll post what I wrote...

It's not finished but if anyone wants to hear it continue feel free to ask...


Well here it is... sorry for the loooong wait. Now I feel like a jerk.



She sat on the bench in the school garden admiring the flowers, as she did every evening after school for a time before heading home. She had a naive innocence about her that sold the idea that she enjoyed picking out the simple and beautiful things in life. To her, everything, every experience had a beauty to it, at least that she knew of. She smiled at the sight and smell of the sweet flowers before her they were so pleasing just to look at. The same could be said about her as she was a sight to see in her own right. She had long, thin legs, her knees bent inward a little. Her tush sat softly upon the wooden bench, her waist was thin and slender. She hunched over slightly to look at the flowers, her delicate hands cupped over her knees just above the end of her dark socks, and her endowed chest lowered as she inhaled the sweet aroma of the petals. Her figure looked so fragile and delicate in her school uniform as she sat there and her face was soft and smooth. Her skin was flush and lively colored and her fine hair was an enchanting gold like a cross between brown and blonde. To say the least, she was gorgeous, and he noticed.

He walked up behind her, she didn’t notice him yet but did feel something different as he eclipsed her in his shadow.

“Ooo, there’re pretty!” he exclaimed. Her head snapped around, startled by his voice. “Mind if I join you?” he said pleasantly standing over her.

“How did you… um…” she began.

“I hopped the wall. Don’t worry about me getting into trouble, what’re they gonna do. Suspend me from a girl’s school?” he laughed. She laughed a little too; he was charming whoever he was. He sat down right beside her and she got a look at him. He was pretty average looking but kinda cute though, about her age too, maybe just a little older. He wore an opened up light, green coat and a gold cap and carried a mid-sized satchel around one broad, cut shoulder. His eyes were dark and shady, his face well shaped. “So what’s your name, hon?” he chimed.

“Oh, I’m Fiona” she blushed a little.

“Fiona, oh? That’s a pretty name. Well, Fiona, I’m Will” he introduced himself.

“Pleased to meet you, Will!” she said happily shaking his coarse hand with her delicate one. He even reached down and pecked a kiss on the back of her hand. He seemed nice enough as he smiled back at her.

“The pleasure is all mine.” He replied, strangely dark, his voice was gritty and coarse but eloquent and charming. She wanted to stay and talk but it was getting late and she was expected home.

“Um, I have to go.” She said nervously getting up. He remained seated.

“So soon?” he asked, she nodded in response “Aww, well I’ll see you later, hon.” He said keeping his eyes locked on her as she walked away. She began to walk nearer to the school building where she could exit the grounds, she looked back and saw that the boy was gone without a sound. ‘How odd’ thought Fiona, charmed by the experience however unusual it seemed. Once inside the building she stopped by her locker and for a second wondered about the absent halls. It was so quiet, even for after school hours. She would have gone to investigate but before she knew what was happening something came up from behind her and slammed her into the lockers pushing her up against them. Before she could scream or even try to turn around she felt something prick her neck and a warm feeling spread around it. Before she had a chance to realize what was happening, she went limp and a warm feeling spread throughout her whole body pulsing as her heart beat. Her breathing slowed and her head felt light but her eyes held wide.

“There you go, easy now, hon” said a familiar voice. It was him, that boy from the garden! What was he doing!? He turned her around and let her slowly fall down gently to the floor. “Hey, hon, remember me?” he said with an empty syringe in one hand and a picture of her in the other.

“uhhhn~” she tried to speak but her mouth couldn’t make the words as she panted. Who WAS this guy!? What did he inject her with!? The thought sank into her as fear swelled up and she looked at the syringe, her body wouldn’t move at all but she was feeling a strange warmth continue to build up in her, especially around her chest and between her legs and her head began to spin. “uhn uhhhhn…~” He saw her stare at the syringe and laughed, pocketing her picture.

“Uh oh, I think I stuck you with too much!” he teased, lying, her eyes drew wide. “Nah, I’m just kidding, hon, this here’s a special cocktail that does a couple of neat things.” Her expression took on a worried look at this as she panted away, her breath painfully short and quick, her head spinning wildly now. He smiled sinisterly. “First, as you can see, hon, it makes you as limp as a rag” he picked up and fiddled with her arms and mulled her body around playfully before picking her up and hoisting her over his shoulder. “Wow, you’re light! Gotta keep up that sexy figure huh?” he taunted as he lifted her skirt and patted her butt as he began strolling over to a nearby empty classroom. She tried to, move, escape, even to talk with him but she was totally helpless, she couldn’t do anything but witness as he carted her off like a trophy.

Once inside the classroom he placed her down on the teacher’s desk and continued as if giving a class lecture “Then it builds up sensation in the body, so you see, speech and movement are impossible but feeling is increased and as you can tell by now thinking is impaired” He paused and put his bag on a desk next to her and pulled out a length of rope and a roll of duct tape “The effects of each do not last indefinitely however, before too long, about five to ten minutes, movement is restored however weakened and loose as mental capacity and motor control are still under heavy influence” he continued, removing her shoes and socks, revealing her slender feet and soft soles “the increased sensation of tactile contact lingers for as long as twenty-four hours – even longer with continued or increased doses but unfortunately continued application has a tendency to have permanent effects on the body and mind” He bound her legs and ankles with the rope tightly into a frog tie position, her legs held firmly to her calves, spread apart opening her up, the twine cutting into her on each. She let out a soft moan at the sensation cutting into her tender flesh. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a handle. With a fast slight-of-hand he flipped it in and out to reveal a butterfly knife. Fiona saw the knife’s blade come near her and she shrieked despite the powerful influence of the drug. He laughed and put the knife between her legs and moved forward. She sobbed pitifully as he cut off her skirt and shirt tossing her uniform aside as shredded rags. The knife plucked apart her bra and exposed her soft, pink tits. He groped one briefly with a cold hand causing a quick gasp of surprised arousal out of his victim before picking up the rope and skillfully tying her hands crossed above her head. She cried as he held firmly onto her bound wrists with one hand and held the knife to her neck with the other. She felt the tip of the blade under her chin for a moment as he moved up close to her.

His shaded gray eyes met hers and he smiled “You know why I’m doing all this?” she shook her head slightly, but it was as much as she could. “Hmp, I didn’t think so but oh well, what’s the harm?” he paused putting the knife down and placing his finger on her parted lower lip, plucking with it playfully as his other hand moved downward and began to explore her body. She was so malleable like this and she couldn’t stop him from touching her. “You see, hon, your daddy, the businessman… got in some bad business, real bad business. You see…” he said stroking and playing with her hair with one hand and groping her breasts with the other. His hand was cold to the touch and every time he emphasized a word he pinched and twisted one of her pointed nipples “He ‘borrowed’ some money that I guess he didn’t want the taxman to know about. Borrowed it from my… ‘employer’” he stopped again to flick at her ear while he continued to slide his other hand playfully around her chest “but you see, hon, I don’t know if he went and lost it or just ‘forgot’ about it but he never paid us back” she couldn’t believe what she was hearing but he continued to tell her his story “Now, when you borrow money, or anything really, the idea is you pay it back, right hon?” she trembled nervously as much as the drug would allow and nodded, fearing where this would go. “I’m glad you agree, hon, cause that’s just what my employer had in mind. But we can’t find your daddy, see hon? We went to your house, we even went through all your things. But it looks like dear old dad left you. So we have no way of getting our money back.”

Th- they went to her house!? Went through all her things? It explained the picture he had of her but, he was so young! How could he be a mobster, or whatever he was? He didn’t dress like a mobster but he certainty talked like one. No accent but definitely the words, well chosen and with devious intention. “So, instead of walking away empty-handed we decided to hold on to a little collateral… property,” he said, his cold hand grabbing hold of her neck, stroking her throat with his thumb, squeezing gently. She began to sob again, this was so horrible, why her? Why like this? He bent down and kissed her on the cheek and pulled back leaving her to cry a bit before returning to her with the knife “and I, gotta say, hon,” he said sliding the knife underneath her panties as she whined “You are worth every sweet penny” he placed a hand on her belly and with the other cut the pink silk and pulled them away as she cried, leaving her openly exposed to the cool classroom air. Except for the rope binding her legs and wrists she was completely naked and at the drugged mercy of this gangster. He stood back to admire her, goddamn she was fine, such a sweet little thing all trussed up. What a treat. He turned around to fish for something in his bag. Fiona could feel the first effect of the drug wearing off as she moved her fingers but the warmth was becoming so hot and her head still reeled. The room was cold but she was beginning to sweat from the drug.

Will returned a moment later with something in his hands. He reached around her neck and buckled and locked a collar snugly in place. “This is to remind you that you’re property from now on, got that?” What? NO! She shook her head. She wasn’t property, she was a person! This wasn’t right, none of this was right! But before she could protest further, her captor brought his hand down firm across her face, then again.

“Obviously, you don’t understand” he began “You don’t get to say ‘no’… not anymore. Those days are over, hon, blow a kiss to ‘em goodbye! From now on you say what I tell you to say, you do what I tell you to do and if you fuck with me I’ll stick you so full of this shit the effects will be painful and permanent” he waved a second syringe, fully loaded, in front of her and she froze in horror at the idea, the heat in her body was nearly suffocating her as it was and her movement was only now coming back despite her bonds. “Now, are you going to be a good girl for me?” he said sticking the needle right into her clit. The sudden rush of pain was crippling and the warmth bathed her crotch like never before. She instantly became wet and her mind went blank. “Oh Fiona…” he trailed on slowly motioning a circle with the needle creating a blast of seething pain and pleasure with each rotation. She struggled to look back down at him blushing deeply, his thumb rested on the pump. “Are you going to obey like a good girl or are you going to be a bad little bitch?” She was terrified at either thought but mustered her voice.

“N-no, pl-please. Don’t! I-I’ll be good, I swear! Just pl-please, PLEASE don’t inject me again! Not there!” she sobbed.

“Hmph, well alright,” he said flatly, pulling out the syringe letting the tingling in her clit linger as she trembled “but I think you need a good lesson taught to you nonetheless so I think I’ll stick you with something else.” He grinned. She turned her head slowly, her eyes fetching a glimpse at his knife. “HA-Ha, no, hon, not that…” he laughed undoing his belt. Her eyes flew wide and she gasped when he pulled her closer to him parting her legs. He couldn’t be serious!

“No. NO! DON’T!” she screamed and in response he whipped his belt down hard over her, and for good measure he continued, whipping her again and again, staining her fragile body rife with pink lashes over her skin. She began to writhe in agony at this torture the drug amplifying the already excruciating tactile sensations throughout her body.

“I told you, you don’t get to say ‘no’. Just erase it from your vocabulary, hon, or I’ll erase it for you, understand?” he said whipping the belt across a tit.

“S-st-stop! Pl-please! A-AH-H-H!” she screamed as he smiled wickedly at her.

“Alright, but first do this.” He put his hand up to his own mouth and said out flatly: “No.” Then he moved his hand down over her mouth placing his fingertips on her soft, pink lips. “Now, kissie-kiss” he commanded coyly. She sobbed in her bindings but pursed her lips against his fingertips and gave a kiss. She blushed and he smiled when her lips accidentally gave off a cute *smooch* sound. He pulled his fingers away slightly and bent them outwards from her. “Now blow it away good-bye” he ordered. She choked and sobbed but she breathed in, and then out again with one long, controlled breath and as the air left her mouth she felt the word blown away like she had actually blown a kiss good-bye to her ability to say ‘no’.

“Good girl. Doesn’t that feel better? One less thing you have to worry about!” he said and returned to undoing his pants.

Before she could recover from the belt whipping another force hit her, this time pushing into her, deeply. He shoved into her, hard, his throbbing cock stretching her sex lips apart mercilessly. She cried out and did her best to yank and pull at her bonds but her limbs were all so uselessly weak and felt so heavy from the effects of the drug. She was totally and truly helpless as this gangster ripped away her virginity, he was stealing it! But despite how much she wanted to resist, her body gave in as his short thrusts became lubricated with her juices. She felt a wave of shame turn into pleasure as the member railed her in and out, penetrating her sex deeply. She was being violated and her mind was too weak to resist and her body loved it!

She cried again knowing she could do nothing to stop it from happening but quickly began to pant and moan softly in rhythm with the thrusts, her cunt was utterly dripping now. Will placed his hands on her waist and pulled her onto him, forcing her body down over him giving her body no choice but to respond. She arched her back as best as she could as her climax pounded her. In no time she came hard around his cock, the experience was both terrible and magnificent as a wave of pleasure rushed through her slender body and wiped her mind. She closed her eyes only for a second as they rolled back but when she opened them to look down she was presented with a blast of hot slime over her face. It dripped down around the curves of her face and plastered to her like a lovely wet mask. She pouted in humiliation but at least it was over, right?

“Come here, slut” the young man panted gabbing her by her collar. He grabbed her cut panties and wiped her face off with them coating them in the white smuck. “Now open your mouth” he commanded. Not wanting to be punished, Fiona complied opening her maw wide as he stuffed her cum soaked panties into her mouth being sure to get a good stain of it on her tongue. The taste was salty but surprisingly sweet, like melted butter. He reached over and grabbed the roll of duct tape and sealed her mouth shut around the wet cloth.

“There you go hon” he said wiping a smear of cum over the tape with his fingers. “I thought I’d shut you up, before you get a chance to complain, cause you see, I’m not done yet” He trailed off again and her eyes flew wide and her body went rigid as his hard member thrust back into her once again.

“Fuck you’re tight! It’s going to take at least all night to break you in! Hope you don’t mind. No… of course not. No, we’ll make you into a good little cumslut, how about it?” she’d beg him to stop, plea with him to let her go, but the packing sealed in with tape behind her lips kept her down to a few quiet little “mphs” for the next couple of hours as he continued to fuck her, always pulling out to release his cum over her. After he had finally stopped she was completely covered. Her belly, her tits, her face, even her hair were all caked with cum and sweat. She was panting desperately through her nose for precious air.

Fiona was exhausted, her body wracked with the aching of cumming again and again with every orgasm. She was becoming used to it though, and he could tell. She was starting to moan through her gag as she orgasmed. The drug had run its course on her speech but was still blurring her mind into a frantic state of arousal as her body ran wild with sexual sensation.

He settled on to taking a break, but he decided to keep her worked-over non-stop. He reached for her gag so he could re-soak her panties in a nice fresh slop of cum for her to suckle. The cum-coated taped peeled from her lips and he fished out the stuffing that was soaked in her saliva and still caked with the first round of cum. She gasped for air and he poked his finger into her mouth to see how dry it was and was a little surprised when she closed her lips around his finger and began to suck –passionately. He smiled and let her suck for a few second before pulling out his finger.

“Aww, are you thirsty, hon?” he said still panting slightly. She nodded. “Well you’ve been a good fuck and it looks like you’re finally starting to enjoy it, huh?” She nodded again and he decided to reward her with a drink of water from a bottle in his satchel. She drank nearly the whole bottle and finally let out a breath of relief when she finished.

“P-please…” she began softly. “again… please.” She wasn’t sure if it was her or her body or the drug talking but soon she began to beg “do me again, p-please, Will…”

“Call me ‘Master’” he commanded, he knew the drug had some part in this and was he was ready to take full advantage of it.

“Will… please…” she whined at him, but he slapped her across the face again.

“Listen closely, slut,” he began “you never refer to me by name, understand? From now on I am your Master, I own you, you are my property. You were my property the moment I was sent to get you. You belong to me now and forever, even if dear old dad suddenly appeared with cash in hand you were still going to be kept. When a bank reclaims property they still keep it even if you pay the money. The same thing goes for you, hon. You are mine and I am your owner, your Master. ” he explained “Now say it.” She pouted but her body shivered back at her from the need for a cock, his cock, to be inside her again.

“Y…y-yes, M…m-m… m…” she struggled with the word so he decided to help her out. He reached down and squeezed her clit sharply and immediately she cried out “-MASTER!”

“Good girl. Now, you wanted something?” he said releasing her clit from the squeeze but still playing with it, circling it with his finger, flicking, rubbing and softly pinching it teasingly. It distracted her badly and made it so she could barely focus on her words.

“Y-yES! Oh g-god…” she let out “Yes, M-mASTER! AH! Yes, p-please, do-o mEEE!” she squealed in ecstasy as he continued to play with her.

“If you want me to fuck you then say so. Beg for it- like a slut begs for a fucking, or maybe I’ll just pop your little cherry.” He said returning his squeezing pinch to Fiona’s swollen clit.

“A-AH hah~!” she tried to gather herself “P-please, M-master, f-fuck me, Master.” she paused – she never really cursed before, she didn’t do any of these things before. He let go his grip but continued to play with her.

“Again! And make it better this time. Come on, bitch, BEG for it like a total whore!” he ordered.

“Yes, m-aster… please, fuck me. Fuck me, master, please! Fuck me… fuck me , fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuuuuuck meeee! Fuck my brains out, master, please! I need you to fuck me. I NEED it! I need a cock, your cock, I need it in meeeee, filling me up! Pleeeeeeaaaase, Ma-aaaasterrr…!” she begged, blushing deeply the entire time.

“Hmm... it’s a start, but I expect you to work on it.” He stopped teasing her and stepped back to his bag. He returned with a large phallic shape and without warning slipped it into Fiona’s gaping cunt. She had started out tight but was so wet and slick now that he had to hold the vibrator in place with a few strips of the duct tape. The intrusion caught Fiona half off-guard and she squealed at the sudden insertion, her muscles re-tightening around it.

“Good. Now beg to be gagged like a good girl.” He said holding another item from his sack –a thick rubber ballgag! She looked up at him with new dread.

“But M-master! I begged just like you asked me to!” she whined

“Yes you did.” He said dangling the gag in front of her by the strap “it could have used improvement, but all-in-all it wasn’t half bad for your first real try, so let’s hear you beg again- this time for silence.” He paused as she looked at him with pleading eyes “Come on now, Fiona, don’t give me that look. You know… I could just wrap those big pretty eyes up with some nice, thick tape if I want.” He said picking up the fat roll, pulling out a strip with a loud *riiiiii-P* sound “a few strips of sticky tape to shut those eyes with- and you know if it’s got to be the thick, gluey tape then it won’t be coming back off for a LONG while.” He smiled as she immediately broke her eyes away from him. “Good girl. Now like I said before, I want you to beg to be gagged” he said exchanging the roll for the rubber ball again. “Good girls like wearing gags, it keeps them quiet and submissive and most importantly- helpless. Good girls like being helpless, right Fiona?” she began to shake her head but bit her lip and quickly changed to nodding. “That’s right and bad girls who don’t want to beg to be gagged when they’re told to get punished” he said leaning over her holding her bound wrists above her head firm against the desktop. “You don’t want to be punished do you, Fiona?” she screwed her eyes shut and shook her head quickly. “Good, so from now on, when you’re not gagged and begging for something else you’ll beg to be gagged, understand? And when the gag comes out, and you’re not already doing something productive with your mouth, what will you do?”

“I-I’ll beg to be gagged…” she spoke softly.

“Good girl, now get to it.” He ended letting go of her.

“Yes master, please gag me…” she said solemnly

“You had better do better than that, slut. I mean it.” He said reaching for his belt. Her eyes widened remembering how he had used it before –some of the red whelps still stained her body.

“M-master… don’t! Please! Please! Gag me, please! I want to be gagged! Please Master, shut me up! Gag me! I need to be gagged! Please, Master put the gag in my mouth, please! I’ll take it! I want the gag! I want you to put it in my mouth and make me quiet! I need to be quiet! I-I talk too much! I need to be gagged. I SHOULD be gagged, Master! P-please! Gag me! I want to be made quiet! Please, Master, please shut me up! Stuff it in my mouth! I’ll even open wide for you, Master! Please, I’ll take the gag! I-I don’t mind! Really! I really want to be gagged! Gag me, Master, gag me! Please! Shut me up and fuck me! I want you to! Please! I’m begging you Master! Good girls beg! Good girls like wearing gags! I’m a good girl! I want to wear the gag! I want to be your helpless gagged slut. Please gag me and fuck me, Master! I need to be gagged and fucked! ... P-please Master?” she pleaded in earnest hoping he would not take the belt to her again.

“Ooo, such a chatty little beggar! Well then that settles it. Open wide, hon!” he said walking behind her. He lifted her head up by her collar and slipped the rubber ball into the open and willing mouth and then buckled the strap snuggly behind her head.

“MIMPH!” Fiona squeaked through the rubber ball filling her mouth. Somehow this was worse than the previous gag- it was more intimidating- not makeshift like the tape and panties. Just how many things like this did he have in his bag?

Will flipped her over on her front and cautiously rebound her hands behind her back. He pulled out a remote control and flicked a switch. Immediately the device embedded in Fiona’s pussy hummed vibrantly to life inside her. He fiddled with the controls for a bit, trying to make little games out of it, teasing her. How quickly could he bring her to edge and how many orgasms could he ruin in a certain amount of time. How much could he get her to try to talk or moan through her gag. How much could he make her writhe and squirm in her bonds. After almost another full hour of torment she was sopping wet in her own cum, sweat and drool. She moaned and cried and complained through the rubber ball in her mouth as the drilling in her came to a steady halt.

“Oh hush now, isn’t this fun? Like this I can completely control you. Your words, your body… even your mind is so fucked up right now that you can’t tell whether you love or hate it, can you? But don’t worry, hon, by the time we’re done you’ll love it completely –I’ll make sure of it.” With that he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to him again. He lined her up in front of him and she knew what he was planning. She resumed her struggling and was even able to buck now but it was useless. “Aww, what’s wrong, slut? You were begging me to fuck you earlier. You weren’t LYING to me were you?” he growled. She turned and shook her head slightly. “Good, because if you ever lie to me I’ll whip you raw” he said giving her ass a hard spank.

He took no time after that, he pressed up against her hole and slowly pushed his cock into her, her muscles tightening around his member as he slowly drove forth and she began to squeal like a pig into her gag. His rigid cock slowly began to thrust her ass. His hands kept her hips firmly in place while she squirmed in her bonds only leaving her waist on occasion to give her another good slap on the ass he fucked. He fiddled with the remote again and the vibrator in her other hole was brought back to life. Tears streamed down her blushed cheeks as Fiona was quickly taken to another drug enhanced orgasm the wash of pleasure wiping her mind blank of each thought of her violation leaving her only with thoughtless, blissful pleasure.

He took her hard as she moaned, sliding back and forth through her tense pucker with vigorous yet steady rhythm. Will was even a little surprised when she began to return his thrusts. He rewarded her by setting the remote to the highest setting before dropping it to the floor, now it would remain on high until he left her to pick it up. Not that he planned on doing so any time soon. The vibrator was really thrumming now. He could feel the vibrations teasing his shaft while he pounded Fiona’s ass. It felt amazing. Fiona must have thought so too as now cum started to flow out of her almost constantly as she was wracked with powerful orgasms in her drugged trance. Thing slowly stopped mattering to her. She was ignoring the fact that she was bound and gagged, covered in sweat and cum, being raped by a gangster who intended to make her his permanent slave. All that mattered was this feeling he was giving her –the pleasure flooding her body in ways she never thought of before as even do-able. He told her that he’d make sure she’d love it and she was beginning to believe him. Before she could think she felt him press into her deeply and go completely rigid as he came inside her causing her to cum again also. She let out another loud moan and sighed as he pulled out.

He turned her around and she came face to face with his hard member. She stared at it and inexplicably, she wanted it. Will reached down behind her head and undid the buckle to her gag pulling the rubber ball out with a audible *puck* sound trailing strings of drool behind it. She panted loudly and continued to stare at the cock before her longingly.

“Ma-master…” she was about to beg, beg for his cock with an open mouth but he hushed her as if he already knew.




****Aaaaand that's as far as it got... :oops:
I'm so so sorry for having sat on this for so long, feel like it's was kinda rude of me...

I never edited it much, I digressed a bit and got carried away on some parts, I didn't do everything I wanted to do with it. It was just something that lost steam, it started out pretty well, I thought though...

Well if all else fails I'll just merge it with stuff in the TA off-shoot stories I've been doing and either mess with it a little or ret-con it out of existance... or if anyone actually thinks it's good and want to keep it going and stand-alone, by all means, speak up!


Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:44 pm
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Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:47 pm
Posts: 133
Post Re: Fiona and Will (RE: theGoddamnBatman's request)
Hey, I liked it quite a bit. The girl´s lines were weird, to say the least, but I liked most of it. Then again, as I´ve mentioned in plenty of previous times, I love it when the unwilling become the eager.

Really liked the part when he makes her beg to be gagged, really! didin´t like the begging too much. She sounds just really weird, as mentioned.

I´d give it 3 of 5 star =)


Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:59 am
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Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:11 pm
Posts: 177
Location: Right behind you
Post Re: Fiona and Will (RE: theGoddamnBatman's request)
So you think it's actually good? I know it's no great work and yeah her lines are kind weird but when you're drugged and in a traumatic situation you don't really makes perfect sense...

I just re-read it and I have to admit that, no it isn't half-bad but yeah, it could use some work. If anyone really REALLY wants to hear more of this particular one just say so. If you want it to continue and want something specific to happen like a tentacle monster from the TA story comes in or Will takes her somewhere or whatever, feel free to give a suggestion.

In the mean time I think I'll do some other writing.


Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:24 pm
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